Far Far Away
by ThatOneGoodWriter
Summary: Jace, a fallen soldier, leaves Clarissa, his fiance, a series of videos to watch.
1. Chapter 1

**You Said You Loved Me, Then Why Did You Leave?**

" _When he shall die,_

 _Take him and cut him out in little stars,_

 _And he will make the face of heaven so fine_

 _That all the world will be in love with night_

 _And pay no worship to the garish sun."_ (William Shakespeare)

 **Chapter 1: The Announcement**

She grabbed her phone and held it to her ear while mixing with the spoon in her other hand. "I know! It's just..." She sighed sadly. "I miss him so much. I-I can't wait to see him." Her friend chuckled on the other end in understanding.

"I'll see you soon." She mumbled, clicking on a button as the light died down. Placing the electronic on the counter, she switched the stove off and grabbed a towel to wipe her hands on. She pushed strands of her auburn hair back in slight irritation. _I might as well cut this mess,_ she thought tired of her rowdy looking hair.

 _And now my bitter hands_

 _Cradle broken glass_

 _Of what was everything_

 _All the pictures had_

 _All been washed in black_

 _Tattooed everything_

 _All the love gone bad_

 _Turned my world to black_

 _Tattooed all I see_

 _All that I am_

 _All I'll be_

Eating silently, she glanced around the small apartment in strong yearning. "If only you could come sooner." She whispered to herself. Three years had passed since her fiance' left to join the army. Three difficult years. Three heart breaking years. Three years of torture. Three years of endless missing. He would return tomorrow and that warmed her chest. She could finally see him. She wanted to embrace him tightly and give him every ounce of love she could muster from her small, fragile body.

 _Yeah_

 _I know someday you'll have a beautiful life_

 _I know you'll be a star_

 _In somebody else's sky_

 _But why_

 _Why_

 _Why can't it be_

 _Why can't it be mine_

An abrupt sound caused her to break away from her thoughts. She heard it again. Somebody was knocking at her door. Knitting her eyebrows, she pushed her plate back and trudged to the door. They knocked again. Rolling her eyes in slight annoyance, she tugged at the chain around the knob and the door opened with a long but loud creak.

What she saw caused her to fall to her knees immediately. Men in uniform. Gold and silver medals decorated their chests but their faces were filled with grief. She shouted as one of the soldiers attempted to pull her up gently. "Ma'am, we are deeply sorry. He died a hero. He died a hero." The deep voice rumbled and she could tell he was holding himself from breaking down.

Her sobs came out like screams. It was the crying of someone who had lost all hope. Tears fell from her cheeks and dripped down her chin. To anybody it would look like mere water. Maybe rain. She imagined his body in a black casket being carried to the cemetary. She remembered his tawny eyes, the ones that were now lifeless. The smile that brightened her day even when she faced the worst of obstacles. It was all gone. How couldn't she tell? The knocking, the time of day...How?

The general stepped forward and swept her body right then. She didn't bother fighting. Her eyes were wide and desperate. She wished someone would leap out from her closet and tell her it was all just a prank. A sick prank. But a prank none the less. Yet, the events didn't go her way.

"Why couldn't you take care of him?" She whimpered as he set her on the brown couch. "Why?" She stared at his old face. "We were going to get married..." Her voice broke as she fell into a fit of coughs. She was trembling, her fingers, her back, her legs, her lips...

The man tipped his cap forward. "He will forever be remembered, ma'am. He was a man beyond compare. He died on the battlefield." He watched as she barely listened to his words. She clasped onto the arm rest as if it was the only thing keeping her up.

With that, a few soldiers remained in the room staring at the ground. One was crying. In the end, she sat gazing at the ceiling above them. Her lips were parted. Her once jade colored eyes were outlined red. She faced one of the young men, her voice raspy. "Were you with him?"

One of them left the apartment immediately as if he couldn't take it anymore. "He was close to everyone, ma'am. He was the one who gave us energy. He gave us the courage to fight."

Her grief surged with every breath she released. It felt like she was an elderly woman. She stumbled to her feet and nearly fell as one of the soldiers reached out in alarm. She darted to her bed room and pulled at her cabinet drawers. Inside was a picture. A picture of them. His sunshine colored hair and orbs seemed vivid to the camera. She was laughing, her cheeks red as he placed a tender kiss on her forehead. Running her shaking finger along his face, she choked on a sob. "Why did you leave-leave me?"

She heard footsteps coming towards her and whirled to face the stranger. It was the general again. He had something in his hand. An envelope. "Ms. Fairchild," He started. "Before the brave soul perished, he gave this letter to me. He addressed it to you. Only you." His eyes were misty now. Placing the small package on the cabinet, her disappeared down the hall.

Grabbing at the wrinkled envelope, she read the front opening.

 _To my love. The only thing that keeps me sane here. The most beautiful of all. The girl of my dreams. The one of my destiny. The one fate tied me to._

 _-Clarissa Fairchild._

 **[A/N]: Song: Black, by Pearl Jam**

 **Review to continue. I would love your endless support.**


	2. Chapter 2

Clary despised funerals. She despised the atmosphere. She despised the emotions that took over her. She felt no comfort as relatives trudged towards her and made their apologies. Some embraced her. Several told her everything would be alright. She didn't believe it. A podium stood at the center of the wooden chairs where soldiers who were his supposed friends spoke. They all shared memories with him. It made her sick to the stomach. The general was last and he couldn't seem to part his lips. He left after that, too distraught.

The wind blew past the black dress she wore. She hated dresses. This was the only exception. Two hours passed as Jace's family were the last ones to say goodbye. Isabelle gave her a weary smile. Alec surprisingly hugged her, his head nestled into her neck. When he pulled away he said, "We're here. We're here." All she could do was nod her head as if she understood his words. She had a headache and a belief that this was just a bad dream.

The sun was high in the sky but painted a picture of happiness despite the situation below. How could it be so beautiful when this was so sad? She struggled to walk to the coffin that would be placed into the soil in just an hour. She dropped down, her knees falling into fresh dirt and grass. Her eyes began to water unwillingly. "Damn it." She mumbled angrily. She didn't want to cry.

Her ribs began to heave but all she could do was hold her side until the pain perished. The pain only seemed to grow stronger. Her wails filled the air. She leaned her head against the brown coffin decorated with white swirls. "I miss you. I miss you so much." She cried.

She brought her satchel out and tugged at the envelope from him. She finally read it, word for word. Her heart ached.

 _Dearest darling,_

 _If I have passed than this is simply a farewell. I want you to see something. I've worked so hard for you to see it. You'll find it at the place we first met. Sorry, you'll have to do some digging. I love you._

Clary grabbed her bag and darted down the hill, the paper wrinkling in her hand. She didn't bother hopping into her car. It was a short walk to the park. Her heart pounded in her chest and she ignored her sore feet. She halted her steps at the sight of the swingset. Where they met. Nobody was at the park and it was unusually silent with the occasional chirping of birds.

She dropped her belongings onto a bench and sat on the swing, her legs still not touching the ground. She tipped on it and remembered the first encounter she had with Jace Herondale. A funny one to say the least.

 _"Could you, maybe, push me?" She asked nervously. His eyebrows knit in slight confusion at the question. They were the only ones at the old park. She pointed at her feet. He noticed her height after a moment and laughed._

 _"I'm sorry. Took me long to figure out." He pulled the iron rusted chains and she felt herself rise gradually. Once she felt the swing was high enough, she told him to stop and he did. The breeze passed through her crimson colored hair and she felt her eyelids close._

 _"What's your name?" She heard him ask._

 _"Why?" She questioned back._

 _"I'm Jace." He announced._

 _She smiled. "Clary. Short for Clarissa."_

 _She pointed her shoes down at the dirt and began to stop the movement. Once the swingset sat motionless, she whirled to face him. "Why are you here? I mean, I know there are teenagers who wouldn't be in the park now."_

 _He grinned crookedly. "I don't know. I came walking and I saw you." Her cheeks flushed, her freckles barely visible._

 _"Oh." He chuckled but twirled the chain she held in her hand. They remained in conversation the whole night._

She dug her hand into the soil not feeling any disgust. She continued, her fingernails turning brown with hints of grass. Shaking her head, she felt something. Something only someone with intent would find. It was large. She grunted, having to shovel more with her scarred palms. Sighing, Clary pulled at the wooden box and lifted it with all the muscle in her arms. Thrusting it to her right, she stopped to study it.

The box was tinted black and she clicked the latch as it opened up. She gasped softly. There were disks. So many of them. They were all labeled by numbers. She whimpered slightly at what he had left her. She slowly sauntered back to her car, the box tightly wrapped in her fragile arms.

 **[A/N]: Review please! I'd love to hear what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

" **When he died, all things soft and beautiful and bright would be buried with him." (Madeline Miller)**

"No, it's fine. Thank you Maia." She said, pushing free strands of her hair back. "I'm sure. Alright. Bye." Clicking the phone off, she tossed it onto the wooden table and with shaking fingers placed a cd into the player. She raised the volume of the television and waited, her heart beating in fear of what she would see.

 _"Hey Clary! Babe. I made you this. I know it sounds cheesy and whatnot but the idea was sort of cool and I really want you to see these. You mean the world to me, angel." He was standing over his army bunk, the camera focusing on his figure. His ears were slightly pink from embarrassment. His golden hair was tucked into a black cap but a few curls had struck free from grasp. A grin was painted on his lips and he began to move around the rows of bunks._

 _"What's the camera for, super man?" A deep voice asked and Jordon came into view, staring at the electronic device in bewilderment._

 _Jace laughed. "It's for Clary. Now move. I don't need someone ugly ruining the footage." Jordon shoved him away and waved at the camera, a peace sign made with his fingers._

 _"Dude, I don't know how she loves you with that ego." He commented and Jace frowned before the screen went black for a long moment. She heard movements in the background and Jordon's playful yell and assumed they were fighting._

 _Jace peered back at the camera and smiled apologetically, his tawny eyes lighting up. "Sorry, Clare. Technical difficulties." Shuffling was heard as he walked to a different part of the area. It was a young girl with dyed blue hair and pale skin. "This is Lily. Say hi to Clary, Lily." He constructed as if she was a kid._

 _Lily must have thought the same thing for she growled and retorted, "You're lucky your finace's my friend, twit." And she stomped off not before flashing the screen a welcoming smile._

 _Jace sat down on his bed and plucked his hat off, a halo of hair falling over his forehead. He sighed and stared at the camera as if she was actually there. His orbs were uncertain. "So I guess this is the first day, Clare. It's pretty cool but training is a pain in the ass. The general must have something up his butt cause he works me too hard." He chuckled softly to himself. "I miss you. I miss you a lot. I keep remembering the time we met at the swingset. You were so beautiful. I can't wait for our wedding, babe. We'll be the happiest couple around although I feel like Izzy and Simon might have something to say about that." With a stupid smile plastered on his skin, he waved at the camera. "See you later, angel. I'm remembering you."_

Clary pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, tears beginning to soak her pants. The wretched memories swirled through her mind and she wanted to sleep. Sleep. But she couldn't. Every time she wanted to, she'd see the empty spot on the bed and cry that there wasn't warmth beside her. Her normally vibrant eyes were puffy and red, a result from weeping day and night without much comfort.

The most beautiful thoughts were the ones that haunted her. She would lock herself in her apartment room and only call Maia to seek assistance. Isabelle had visited but Clary told her to go away. She did. Alec came once and dropped off groceries at her door. She was secretly thankful; there wasn't any food in the fridge. She stopped drawing. She stopped painting. She stopped going to the park. Her mother was worried about her. Luke tried to get a hold of her but she didn't give in to his pleas.

She had experienced depression and pain before. Nothing could amount to this. She slept in the same position on the couch, Jace's face still on her television screen.


End file.
